I hope you are doing well. I think of you often.
I imagine you- You are peering through your “prescription” Ray Bans, typing furiously into your MacBook Pro, documenting your road trip to Pitchfork. Your eyeliner is perfectly winged, your finally ombré-free hair falling into tendrils, and your mustache pendant necklace clacks against the edge of the table.
Blogosphere, be honest with me, do you look that good all the time? With new outfits and perfectly coordinated accessories, my Target and Forever 21 sponsored wardrobe is starting to feel inferior, and a little sad.
Seriously though, Blogosphere, how do you find Channel wallets, plaid button ups, and chic fashion jewelry at your local vintage shop? Whenever I go into thrifting all I can find is black mini menswear vests from H&M circa 2009.
Enlighten me, Blogosphere. How do you always eat at restaurants that have dimly lit interiors, staff wearing Converse high tops, and cocktails served in mason jars? And on the topic of food, how do you always manage to arrange your vegetable choppings and herbs perfectly on a rustic wooden cutting board? And on herbs, do you really only use fresh rosemary from your urban garden? When did McCormick stop being good enough?
You know what, Blogosphere? I’m actually starting to think that maybe you think you are too good for me. You know, I tried to take cute pictures on the roof of my apartment once, but the parking garage and dumpsters was just so not the candid chic aesthetic I was going for!
Will I ever be good enough for you, blogosphere? Will I ever write as eloquently? Will my photographs ever have that masterful grain that makes everything look so much more alternative than it really is?
I think I just need some time.
Please note: This is sarcastic, not intended to look down on fashion and food bloggers, only intended to poke fun at myself, and the Blogosphere world.