I’ve been dating Robert for a little over a month. We date like grown ups by going to actual events instead of shacking it up in a movie theatre. We talk like grown ups about real issues regarding family and work.
The best part about our grown up relationship is that we have no friends in common. I didn’t meet Robert as a friend of a friend, we didn’t go to high school together, and even my best of friends haven’t stalked him on Facebook yet. This basic anonymity, I’ve decided, is what makes our relationship work.
Starting with a blank slate has been a great way for us to get to know each other, for each other, instead of for the rest of the world. We have nothing to prove or defend to the people outside of our relationship. Our relationship is between us, not between me and Robert’s ex or Robert and my friends.
Too many times, people (cough cough, 18-24 year-olds) forget that a relationship is only for the two people in it. Well guess what, unless Sadie from down the hall is mackin’ on your man as often as you are and sending his sisters Valentine’s Day cards, forget what she thinks. Note: If Sadie from down the hall is mackin’ on your man, there are some bigger issues to tackle.
The most important part of any relationship you are in should be the other person. This works great for Robert and myself, but I also try to apply this idea to all of the other relationships in my life. Whether it’s my hairdresser, one of my sisters, a fellow intern, or a coblogger (it’s a word now, Kathryn), I keep the relationship between us. If I really wanted a third party’s opinion, I would just make a Facebook status about it, right?